Movie Review: Kindergarten Cop 2

We have covered our fair share of unnecessary and unwanted sequels on this site, whether it’s the wealth of Jim Carrey-less sequels like Son of the Mask and Dumb and Dumberer  or Christmas classics such as Jingle all The Way 2 and Home Alone 5. We are now happy to hand Kindergarten Cop 2 to this hallowed wall of fame.

Like all of these fantastic sequels/prequels, this movie has nothing at all to do with the original movie. None of the cast returns. The story isn’t set in the same school. There’s like nothing here that really warranted the “Kindergarten Cop” label, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie. LEt’s get to the review and find out!

A gruff FBI agent goes under cover as a kindergarten teacher. He’s there to recover stolen data, but first he’ll have to learn to survive in the politically correct world of elementary education.

  1. Welcome to the New-Age – You would think that a movie such as Kindergarten Cop wouldn’t have anything to say, and not trying to say it wanted to take a stance, but I found it interesting how it handled the “new-age” school techniques that were in place. School-life is just as confusing to the students as it is to a teacher learning the ropes. Learning what to do or not do. Learning what is and isn’t acceptable to have around the students. And some of the modern issues that adults face when dealing with kids in general.
  2. Smooth-Talker – I found Dolph Lundgren to be a relatively charming teacher. Much like Arnold, he has an appearance that makes it difficult to believe that he is a traditional teacher, but he sells it so well to the staff and especially the principal that you completely believe him a passionate teacher and he does learn to care for the kids and their world. Really tender moment with a father that doesn’t have a ton of follow-up sadly.
  3. The Odd Couple – What I don’t buy as much as Dolph as a ladies’ man. Perhaps it’s my personal bias in what I find attractive, but the fact that Darla Taylor’s Oliver is cast as a somewhat shy and bashful woman, who is happy that someone like Dolph would even think to ask her out… doesn’t fly with me. I feel like Dolph should be the one chasing her. I know, it’s movies and should go with it, but I just couldn’t… I just couldn’t.KindergartenCop2
  4. Vending Machine to Go – The movie is pretty light on action. There’s really only like two or three major setpieces in the entire film, but does a solid job with the amount of time and choreography offered. The first set-piece is the best in the film. IClever use of a vending machine as mobile cover isn’t something I’ve seen often, and the set-up with the machine is a fun bit of character development.
  5. Bury It, The Stereotype is Dead! – The trope of the stern and loud police chief ended a few years ago, and probably for the best. The chief in this went from stern and authoritative to kind of annoying and whiny within two scenes. He seems to believe that shouting every line makes it better or sounds more enforcing.
  6. Wannabe Gangstas – The villains are just terrible. They walk a drunken line between trying to be this imposing and threatening group while also trying to be that sophisticated and worldly villains out of a Bond-film and they stumble in either direction. They come off as more of joke than anything that appears threatening or dangerous. I guess it’s needed when they’ll eventually be beat up by a bunch of kindergarteners.
  7. Two For Me, None For You – There’s a running joke/gag in the movie that Agent Reed always seems to have a Twix handy and seems to pull it out at random points throughout the film. I don’t get the point of it nor does it seem to have any real pay-off. I guess a way to get some blatant product placement.

Review 4 (Out of 7) One of the better unnecessary sequels we’ve seen. Go in with an open-mind and you’ll have some fun with it.

Earl Rufus

The owner of this little chunk of the internet. Enjoys having a good time and being rather snarky!

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