151 Proof Movies Hangover: Double Dragon

[After creating and then testing the drinking rules, Swan and Penguin recap their adventures with the movie. Offering their thoughts on the quality of the film itself, as well as how the drinking rules held up, and if worth using.]

We picked Double Dragon to celebrate the announcement of Double Dragon Neon this week, then we saw Double Dragon Neon in action, and weren’t quite sure which one was the bigger disappointment. Now that we’ve watched Double Dragon The Movie, the competition is even more fierce for crappiness.

But let’s get to our scoreboard to find out more!


Swan- 1

I don’t know why I like ruining my good childhood memories but it seems that every few weeks we pick a movie that I loved when I was younger, and it just does not live up to my memories. I remember there being hilarious jokes in this, where as I don’t believe I laughed once. I remember the fight scenes being spectacular and awesome and at this moment I can not remember a single moment from a fight. I remember Alyssa Milano being super hot in this movie and, well, that didn’t change. She was probably the best thing about this movie.

If you have fond memories of this movie I recommend a wide berth and if you have no memory of this movie, stay the hell away from it.

Penguin- 2

I don’t have the biggest of memories with Double Dragon (if anything I remember the cartoon series more than the games) so I wasn’t too heart-broken at them butchering the game’s premise. Even though, they did get rid of the most basic element with a girlfriend being kidnapped. Never ONCE in this movie was anyone’s girlfriend kidnapped.

The acting… well we seem to pick the movies where everyone seems to just want to collect a pay check. I wouldn’t call it BAD acting because that would imply some of the characters were actually trying to act. I’m fairly certain they just put a camera in front of these people and told them to read the script (Which is a mess anyhow)

I really don’t recommend this movie to anyone.. Unless…

Drinking- 5

Swan- 5

Unless you want to get crunk, then you definitely want to watch this movie. It was as if the creators of this movie traveled forward in time to take a look at our rules, just to build a film around them. When we were drinking it was rapid-fire drinks, and then we would get a good 10 minute break followed by another alcoholic facial. Out of all five of our rules every single one of them worked perfectly, with the only one that I could complain about would be “Every time medallion is shown” which popped up a lot but we were not sure whether we do it every time we see it or every new scene with it.

I made the mistake of drinking vodka last night instead of my usual beer so that may also be why this movie hit me so hard. I definitely recommend checking this out for drinking, just don’t mix your drinks to strong.

Penguin- 5

The spoken word rules are always the most interesting, just to see the frequency in which they pop up. I mean for the most part we tend to pick words that are unique to the movie, but shouldn’t really be beaten over the head with, but each and every time it happens. In the opening NARRATION (not scene or anything), there were 4 drinks with 2 mentions of the medallion and the legend of the Double Dragon, and the movie never really let’s up from there. 

None of the rules proved to be the weakest link here. Everyone got their moment in the sun, some of them a bit too much. There was a scene for example with like 14 straight kicks from the brothers.

If you really want to add some MORE drinks to your life, you can drink whenever they make a Lee pun (Ug and Home are used often enough). 

So this is an interesting one, neither of us really recommend the movie, but if you want to get your drink on this is perhaps the best movie we’ve done this year so far.

Earl Rufus

The owner of this little chunk of the internet. Enjoys having a good time and being rather snarky!

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