Review Straight Up: Die Hard 2: Die Harder

With the release of the Expendables looming over everyone’s head, we at Nerds on the Rocks have taken it upon ourselves to engage in the most daring movie challenges ever. What we have playfully dubbed “The Macho Manliness Mega Machismo Movie Marathon” a movie marathon with so much testosterone, we will be tested for steroids daily.

The first movie on our schedule is the Bruce Willis’ film, Die Hard 2: Die Harder

I know a lot of you out there are probably asking yourselves, why didn’t you start with the original Die Hard? And to be honest with you, we just couldn’t handle THAT much manliness. I mean the original Die Hard stands as one of the greatest action movies of all-time and cemented John McClane’s legacy as an action star. We just couldn’t handle that in midst of this marathon as we would spend weeks recovering from the sheer awesomeness of it.

I digress, we are here today to talk about Die Hard 2. This film released 2 years after Die Hard, but takes place exactly one year after the events of the original. Some terrorist take control of the airport, and of course everyone at the airport is an idiot except for one man, Mr. John McClane. Who I guess really loves his wife since he shows up to the airport like 3 hours before her plane is supposed to arrive.

Hijinks ensue, people are killed, cops are made to look stupid and lots of things blow up.

Now my problem with this movie, is that it follows the formula of the original movie just a tad TOO close, they even kind of poke fun at themselves throughout the course of the movie. The fact is when you are so near perfection, it really only hurts you to try and replicate that winning success. So for most of the movie, it feels like Die Hard in an airport.

All in all a solid movie. But you knew that or it wouldn’t be on the list. So let’s get to the meat of this.

Bad-Ass Kill of the Movie

Ice Pick to the Eye- 6/10 Macho-Ness

Let’s get this out of the way, it is a bad-ass kill. There’s no way around that. And I honestly can’t name many movies I’ve seen that involved someone being impaled in the face with an icicle.

So why did I dock it 4 points? Quite simple, a bad-ass kill is more than killing someone in the most fashionable way, its the attitude. And as you can see from the clip above, he delivers no snazzy one-liner after it? What’s the point of an awesome kill if you don’t pun it up?

And they are right there for the picking.

  • “I hope he got the point!”
  • “I bet he didn’t see that coming!”
  • “It went straight to his head!”
  • “Now that’s cold!”

And I don’t even write for Hollywood, imagine what people who get paid thousands could have come up with?

As a runner-up not as bad-ass, but taking out a whole squad of Marines with a cigarette lighter is right up there with memorable moments. And he is smart enough to save his catchphrase until then.

Douche Moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkCQ_-Id8zI&rel=0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkCQ_-Id8zI&rel=0" />

Listen, we know its tough to be a villain but you don’t need to be a complete douche all the time, but they somehow manage to do it anyhow.

So you want to make a point? You want to make an impression? What do you do after hijacking an airport? You take control of a plane and allow it to crash into the ground with nothing but innocents aboard.

There’s no way this scene doesn’t win the Douche award. And Douche moments won’t be rated because they are DOUCHES!

Recommendation: This will be repeated throughout the course of the marathon, but a Mega Macho Movie can be enjoyed in any state. Depending on your mood, it could even be various levels of the review scale.

Next time on the Marathon

Die Hard with a Vengeance

Earl Rufus

The owner of this little chunk of the internet. Enjoys having a good time and being rather snarky!

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