Drunken Dialect: Interview with Link

At the start of any new year, there is always a buzz in the air about all the new and exciting products we can look forward in said year. One of the most anticipated games for 2011 has to be The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, while originally intended to be a 2010 title, this game got pushed back for some final polish, we can only assume. That hasn’t stopped the game’s star from sitting down with us and giving an exclusive interview about this next adventure.

We would just like to say thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us. We realize that you are short on time so we shall just cut to the chase. This is your first major console release in nearly 5 years, we know you’ve had some side projects on the small screen, but how does it feel to get back into the game? Any concerns that the landscape has changed in your absence?

Link: Hut! Hut! HUT!

Oh that’s very clever, but if we can be serious here, like I said, I know you are short on time so we have a ton of questions to get through. Its been almost 25 years since the first game, and you have had quite the history in the role. Due to the nature of the plot, you’ve had to play yourself both old and young and not necessarily in any clear progressive order. How do you feel about that? Have you ever spoken to the people over at Nintendo and told them that it gets tougher and tougher to play certain roles as you get older?

Link: HaaaaaaaAAAAAH!

Whoa whoa… whoa, do not take that tone with us and put away your damn sword! Didn’t security confiscate that from you before you entered the building? Someone is so going to get fired!

Back to our interview, and can you answer these questions seriously, our audience wants to know! Remember, we’re helping you out, you’ve been out of the limelight for 5 years. There are dozens of contenders to your throne now so get your act together. Nintendo claims that they have a grand scheme in mind when it comes to the overall story of these games. It has been hinted at that Skyward Sword will serve as a prequel to the entire series, can you confirm or deny this? And do you have any insight into the big picture Nintendo has in its mind?

Link: HEEEEEEEEAH

That’s it! I can not work in these conditions, you are a mad man! Who attempts to attack a host during an interview! What type of press do you think you’ll get here. I can’t believe they didn’t take that blasted sword from you? Can you even wield a real sword?!

Navi: Hey listen, you can not spread rumors about my client as far as we are concerned if any word of this interview is leaked we will slap you, your site and even your family with a lawsuit so fast you may have already paid out your arse for it. My client was bamboozled by an onslaught of questions that were not on the list of pre-approved questions we agreed upon.

Link: EXXXCCCCCCCUUUUUUUSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE Me, Princess.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is due out sometime in 2011, Nintendo hasn’t narrowed it down anymore than that, but stay tune as I’m sure we’ll have more coverage on this hotly anticipated game.

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