Review Scale on The Rocks
Doing things by the books is never the Nerds way so why should reviews be any different? Instead of focusing on a numerical scale (like anyone wants to read a review in binary) or using an alphabetical rating (is there anything other than As?), we decided to use a more unique rating system.
Introducing, the Level ofÂ SobrietyÂ Scale.
Now this scale shall function differently than most reviews. As it won’t assign a level of quality to a product, but instead assign the level of drunk-ness you need to be in order to enjoy said project. And let’s look at our options.
- Sober – The highest and simplest rating. You could be sober to enjoy the product.
- Good Time With Friends – We’ve all been here. Rough week at work, you decide to go down to your local bar and have a drink or two with friends. Just about that level is good enough for this product.
- DrunkÂ Karaoke – Its been a REALLY long week, and you start to throw them back like water. Then THAT song comes on (we all have one), and you start humming the beat and next thing you know you are on the table singing along, waving your shirt over your head.
- What Happened to Me? -Broke up with a significant other? Lost your job? You start drinking like there’s no tomorrow, and for you probably don’t even know when tomorrow begins.
- Why Does it Hurt when I Sit? -The OMEGA effect. I’m talking losing your job right when your ex broke up with you and your house burnt down in a fire. I mean you are throwing them back like they are vitamins. You may wake up the next day, you may not. You may have new piercings orÂ tattoos, or went to bed with one hell of a beast. You spend the next week in your bed in a fetal position. Yeah, you’d have to be this bad to enjoy this product.
So there you have it. Over time, we hope to also properly introduce the Sobriety Scale.
This system lacks a negative. So, either I’m sober doing something cool, or getting super drunk (potentially making it false-cool). Sounds good to me!
I propose another entry in the rating. We should call it something like, “Duuuuuuude. Pass the leaf.” It is the rating given to games best enjoyed while high on weed. Examples include Killer 7 and Metal Gear Solid 2.