Movie Review: I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Warning! There will be spoilers of an 8-year old movie that went to direct-to-video that I doubt many people know about nor care enough about to actually watch, but WARNING nonetheless.
With that warm-up out of the way, I must confess this isn’t a review either. I know, I’m a terrible human being. But truth be told, the long and short of it is this film isn’t worth watching. I could dress it up in some flowery words for you, but that’s all you really need to know.
What this is however is an examination of the film’s biggest twist and just how silly and nonsensical the whole thing is when you think about it. The film features a concept much like the original, a group of friends cause the accidental death of another person, and instead of coming forward with the information, hold onto it and breaks apart their friendship. About a year later, someone is in on their secret and begins to stalk, harass and then kill them one by one. The film sets up several potential murderers.
And just as the suspects are being killed off, we are given the film’s big twist, the murderer is… Ben Willis, the murderer in the first films of the series. Which in some horror franchises kind of makes sense, Freddy haunts Elm Street, Jason is usually around Camp Crystal Lake and Michael hasn’t found a family member he doesn’t want to kill. So a returning slasher villain is old hat… except in this case it seems so odd and bizarre and out of place.
Not because this takes place in a completely different part of the country because he was able to track them down to the Caribbean in the second film. But because of the oddly specific set of circumstances that must occur for him to be of any use as a supernatural foe.
Based on the events of the first and third films (The 2nd continues on from the first), it seems that Ben Willis/The Fishermen’s criteria for going on a killing spree are:
- Must accidentally kill a person or be responsible for their death. (Though that isn’t entirely true since Willis was the original victim and clearly isn’t dead)
- The accident must occur on the 4th of July. A day before or a day after, and you’re all good!
- After the accident, the friends must all agree to never speak about it again.
- And they must agree and get rid of any evidence that links em to the events.
- The Fishermen then needs to wait at least another year for the 4th of July to begin his killing spree.
Like, it seems like a LOT of things have to line up for the killer to be effective… and heck even frightening. Kill someone on July 5th? You’re good! Decide to keep the stuff? You’re good! Don’t all agree to keep it a secret? You’re good!
Yes, I know this is silly, but it was the one thing in the entire movie that stuck with me. Just how strange and precise The Fisherman’s vengeance seems to be!
P.S: You may or may not need possession of his original hook as well.