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151 Proof Movies Hangover: Van Helsing

[After creating and then testing the drinking rules, Swan and Penguin recap their adventures with the movie. Offering their thoughts on the quality of the film itself, as well as how the drinking rules held up, and if worth using.]

So Van Helsing happened. Truth be told, I had relatively high expectations for the film. I had never seen it, but it seemed like it would be a romp and Hugh Jackman is usually good for a leading man. Did the film live up to my short-tail expectations?


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First off I want to say that the only reason anybody should watch this movie is because of Dracula. The actor who portrays him does so in such a ridiculous, over-the-top manner that you can’t help but enjoy him. Aside from that though the movie is fairly forgettable. Thinking back on it now I can hardly remember any important plot points. Something to do with a werewolf or something. Kate Beckinsale was hot but I don’t watch a movie because someone is hot in it, that is what Google Image Search is for. 

Even with Dracula being so amusing I can’t recommend this movie to anybody. Keep a wide berth my friends.


The best way to judge the quality of the movies we watch is to reflect back on what sticks out to you. Those moments of sheer awesomeness or stupidity that bounces around your head for a few days. I’m sitting here ready to write about Van Helsing, and nothing comes to mind. 

Sure, I could mention that I thought Dracula was a bit over-the-top and seemed to have been in a different movie than the main actors, but then I couldn’t tell you why. I don’t remember any scenes with him. And the same could be said for Van Helsing who came off as a combination Batman and James Bond, which is awesome on paper. But did nothing for me in the film.

I’ll be honest with you, I barely even remember the climax other than Hugh Jackman was turning into a werewolf and bite Dracula which caused him to die rather anti-climatically. 


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This was a tough one. We had to do an amendment for our own safety near the beginning. We had to remove the lightning rule or else we may have died, and we replaced it with “Every time they someone says Dracula, drink.” That made it a bit easier. 

Honestly looking back on the rules, I know we drank a bunch, but I honestly can’t remember drinking that much. I’m fairly certain that every rule got its fair use, with maybe the gadget one coming out a head a little bit.

 If you choose to watch this movie for some reason, you may as well be drinking, and our rules will do the job of making you forget said movie.


This was an interesting movie, we drank about as much as we usually do for most movies, but since this film was about 30 mins longer than most of the movies we watch, it was also spread out a lot more. By the end of the film, didn’t really feel anything.. well in the sense that I wasn’t drunk.. not in the sense I was so drunk I was numb. 

As Swan made reference to, we had to change the lightning rule. Really for two reasons 1) It was really hard to keep count on how many times it struck during certain key scenes and 2) It really probably would have been enough to sustain the movie. 

Other than that, the other rules got used well. Some happened in larger chunks like humans revealing themselves to be monsters was a killer during the mid-point of the movie. Weapons and gadgets were on frequent display. And like any good movie, the hero and villain just find it next to impossible not to say each other’s name. 

Van Helsing isn’t a bad movie, but its a remarkably unmemorable movie. Like nothing really sticks out, which also means nothing really offends you that much. I can’t recommend watching it, but if it happens to be on TV I wouldn’t tell you to turn it off either. It also isn’t our best drinking game so not worth the effort on that front either!

Earl Rufus

The owner of this little chunk of the internet. Enjoys having a good time and being rather snarky!

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