Special Service: Bagels
It has come to our attention recently here at Nerds on the Rocks that there is a growing part of the population suffering from a very severe and life-threatening disorder, and there is little acknowledgement of this disorder in the public place.
What is this disorder you may ask? Well quite simple, its the growing number of people who pronounce bagel as bag-el. Before this recent outbreak, I’ve only come across the disorder once before, but after the recording of the most recent, Dual Wielding podcast, I had to face the cold, hard truth that this was not an isolated incident. There is a growing number of people who believe the word should be pronounced bag-el.
But we are here to put a STOP to that right now. I want each and every one of you to go to your local deli, supermarket, Dunkin Donuts and wherever else you think they serve bagel. And tell them to say no to bag-el. If someone comes to their place of business and ask for a bag-el, its not a crime to turn them down or better yet put them on the path to salvation and make them say bagel. It would take less than a minute of your time to save one poor, innocent, confused, lost soul.
Above is a clip from the show Community, as they show the proper technique in dealing with someone who says bag-el, you ridicule them until they see the error of their way.
Like all great threats to our beloved nation and/or world, I call upon the citizens to help in eradicating this issue. I can not promise that there will not be any hardships, there may even be some blood spillage, but stand strong and now that there are others out there fighting the good fight alongside you.
So get out there, and spread the good word of BAGEL!