[After creating and then testing the drinking rules, Swan and Penguin recap their adventures with the movie. Offering their thoughts on the quality of the film itself, as well as how theÂ drinking rulesÂ held up, and if worth using.]
This movie! This movie!
Here’s our review!
Birdemic, birdemic, birdemic. I don’t even know what to think. You are clearly a bad film, so bad that it makes me think you are trying to be bad. But you aren’t succeeding at being enjoyable. Sure, there were part where I laughed but most of the bad-ness left my mouth agape, wondering why I was watching this. I could almost believe you weren’t intentionally bad, but then you had to go and use those clip art birds. Those damn clip art birds. Why would you think that was a good idea. It’s hard to look at without hating myself. It would have been better if you had just thrown stuff animals across the screen.
Don’t watch this movie.
Fuck this movie!
I was trying to come up with some way to start this segment, but that sums up my thoughts on this film. It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It’s so poorly produced, shot and edited that I couldn’t even embrace the cheesiness and special effects because I was so distracted by the poor movie.
And then there’s the plotting/pacing. There is about 50 minutes before the birds actually show up, which wouldn’t have been so bad if there was any real type of build-up to their arrival. And then they try to explain why the birds are attacking by suggesting it is caused by global warming? How the hell does that make sense in ANYONE’s head?
But none of this compares to the fact that the birds just decide to up and leave at the end of the movie. There’s no reason given or any indication that the humans are turning the tides, they simply decide it’s time to fly off into the sunset.
To summarize, FUCK THIS MOVIE!
This was a surprisingly slow movie for drinking, with the first 30 minutes only causing us to down one drink. It only really picked up in the second half, when the birds finally appeared. Then our death rule and spoken bird rule really came into effect. Another big surprise was how often the environmental message rule got us, at least every 10 minutes there was some message being rammed down our throats. The other two rules only really applied for the first half, during the romantic section of the film.Â
If you plan on watching this film I suggest the use of alcohol. Highly suggest. So give our rules a try, hopefully they will make you forget.
This was a mixed movie for drinking. Our rules, much like the movie, are divided into half with some being effective during the first half of the movie which focuses on the budding romance of our main character, and the second half dealing with the destruction of the birds.
The problem with that divide means you don’t really drink much at any one time… and you’re still watching this gawd awful movie. For the most part though, the rules worked well. We made a few amendments to it while watching though, namely instead of whenever a character says bird, you drink whenever bird or a type of bird is said since they do refer to them as eagles often.Â
Birdemic isn’t a movie worth recommending. It passes the line of bad to the point of just being plain awful. I would only recommend this to budding film-makers so that they have a guide on how not to make a movie.