Killer robots disguised as “innocent” little girls.
Robots that transformed into beasts.
Bad-ass sharks that ride motorcycles.
Nostalgia with a Twist has been an interesting ride so far. It has become my favorite column to write, but it is always a challenge coming up with something new. Which is why I’ve come up with another challenge!
A week long Nostalgia with a Twist special edition.
What you may ask is important enough for a week long dedication?
The Disney Afternoon!
Now for those who don’t remember what it is, well you are reading the wrong column so buh bye! And for those who do remember, strap on your seat belts because this Nostalgia trip is about to hit 90.
To properly kick off this Disney Afternoon special, we’d have to start at the beginning with the intro for the entire block of programming.
Now the intro would change from year to year to incorporate the changes to the line-up, but I tried to find the oldest one on Youtube.
Of course, The Disney Afternoon intro has to start with Disney’s biggest icon, and as always he is a chipper little fellow. Carrying around that big ole piece of paper all by himself.
He rolls the paper on the table (?) and summons the mighty pencil gods to do their bidding!
All the while there is an awesome song in the background. Which is also challenging the viewer, “Step Right Up” its dropping the punk card pretty early and you wouldn’t even know it. Even worse, the punk card is being dropped while Mickey friggin Mouse is on the screen.
The pencil gods then raise an army of black and white soldiers. Zombies? Who knows. Though Disney zombies has potential. I should put some calls in…
Moving on, as the army of undead black and white drawings come to life, the song tells us “this is where the fun begins.” If by fun, they mean the world overran by adorable Disney characters with a thirst for blood, who am I to criticize?
The legion of the undead go off to their new paint lords? Is there no loyalty with the undead denizens of the Disney world? Or maybe this is the second part of their process to take over the world. Add color so they can better blend in! I mean I’m sure people would stare if they say a black and white gummi bear walking down the street, but see one in color and you may only give it a second glance.
And while we watch in horror as the bringers of our deaths are bought to life, the song cheerfully plays with our emotions.
There’s so much to do
Getting ready just for you
I mean the song TELLS you they are coming after you, but its hidden behind colorful graphics and such a catchy beat that we don’t even pay attention! Alas, we are doomed! DOOMED, I say!
We see a mouse getting her hair colored gold. And only in the magical world of Disney can a mouse have blonde hair, that’s not only actual hair but different from the color of her body fur. And then we get a duck spotting a purple and green polka dot hat, and he is none too happy about that (and if there’s one thing you don’t want your murderer to be is upset!) so it is swiftly changed to a more classy black affair.
For a moment my heart relaxes as it appears the army has divided its ranks and started a paint war! Perhaps there is hope for mankind yet! Until you realize, they are just speeding up the process as they bring another one of their own to life. He is a bit new to this world so he is slipping and sliding everywhere.
It looks like they have also formed a home base with this magical paint. I wonder if it is sold in stores? How would you even ask for magical paint?
“Can I get a bucket of the good stuff? You know the stuff that brings drawing to life and makes them dance around for me? No? Okay!”
We now get a montage of our enemies training. Oh sure it may look like playful dancing and goofy around to the untrained eye, but to someone of my skill and intelligence it is a simple diversionary tactic. They will win you over with their cuteness wait until you get in close and stab you in the heart. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
One of the soldiers have gone off base and tries to attack the screen. The intro quickly shifts away from him as they probably didn’t want to give away their secret weapon.
A younger version of Mickey Mouse returns now to give us the title of the afternoon block, The Disney Afternoon. And one of his new soldiers comes bursting through the side of the screen.
Showing uncanny reflexes and strength for a cartoon mouse, he actually catches him with no struggle.
Our enemy has a name and a face.
Since this served as an intro to an entire block of programming, it really makes little sense to recommend anything based on it, but it did get you jazzed up for what is to come. I mean the beat is REALLY catchy.