Nostalgia with a Twist: Hero High

It seems, and this isn’t something many of you, each time I start a new one of these I have to explain why one hasn’t been done recently. The short and simple of it, is I take the most pride in these articles because to me they are the most fun and interesting to write. So I’ll get a decent way into writing one and just realize I don’t like it or don’t know how to end it properly and it sets in our draft folder for months on end.

Anyhow, that’s the backstory, this is the full story! We’ll be checking out Hero High today, and honestly I’ve never even heard of this show. I mean the concept of heroes in a school isn’t new, its pretty much the basis for X-men, but never really thought it was something seriously pursued outside of the big 2 before Sky High so this shall be most interesting.

With that said, let’s check out Hero High!

You get one shot at making a first impression, and my impression is this show will be dated and cheesy from the logo. To be patriotic, the logo is decked out in red, white and blue. That isn’t SO bad, its the font and the full name of the show that just tells me this will be cheesy. Hero High’s Super Magic Adventures, there’s no way for that not to be cheese-filled. Would you honestly take it serious?

Then we are introduced to the entire cast/student body of Hero High, and its like stepping into a time machine. All of the characters look like they were ripped out of the era, which really hasn’t aged well. And being that this is animation even though everyone is dressed like its the 70s, I would wage it is an early 80s toon?

We haven’t even got rolling yet, but my belief this would be a cheesy show is pretty much confirmed when we see the bell ringing. It has a fist pounding it. I couldn’t make this up! The school itself, I guess fitting in with the patriotic theme seems to be designed after The Capitol Building. Also it has Hero High written rather largely.

YES! We’ve got a narrator! If you listen to Flashback mini-cast, you know I have a thing for intros with a narrator who explains everything to you. I find them both cheesy and amusing at the same time.

According to said narrator, “Hero High is a place of learning for super teenagers.” Get use to that word because he says SUPER a lot. As a matter of fact…

Super Handsome
Super Wet (And I wouldn’t touch that one with a 10 foot pole)
Super Cool
Super Skillfull
Super Sneezy

Now, I’m fairly certain none of those actually qualify as “super” powers and are just really bad adjectives, but I don’t write the show!

As they are naming these off, we are also being introduced to the characters in greater details. No names or anything, but we see them and can only assume with some of their powers are. I mean with Super Sneezy, do you really have much room to wiggle?

FINALLY, we get to know some of the characters by name. The “Super Handsome” dude sporting the blue track suit and blonde hair is apparently “Captain California” and he has a magical surfboard?

There’s no way to make this one sound decent. We have… a pair of girls… who’s power it seems is to… ride one another. I really don’t know… that’s what it looks like and her (or their?) name is Glorious Gal. Again, it seems odd to name a duo with a singular title.

We have a dude who has to be the model for Bebop on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon well when he was human anyhow. There’s no way that he wasn’t!

“The unique school where superheroes practice their powers on each other!” Oh what I would have given to be able to use that line in high school!

We are giving a montage of various teen heroes and their oh so goofy antics. None of which looks that funny or clever or an interesting use of their powers. Though I must point out since I haven’t before, the actual music that plays is awful. Its non-descript its there but not important. And I realize you have a narrator so its hard to make it catchy, but at least make it stand-out.

The intro ends with a witch/wizard turning I would assume the antagonists of the series into babies, and then chasing each other around.

As a whole, the intro did nothing for me. I thought the concept of the show had promise, but this just looks like a really bad 70s show with a heroes theme to it. In this day and age, you won’t get me to watch your show that way.

Recommendation: Avoid.

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