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Cooking with Nerds: Chocobo

It has come to our attention that there aren’t many websites on the internet dedicated to showing you how to properly prepare your Chocobos for consumption, and we felt that this was an injustice. I mean who doesn’t like sitting back on a Friday night with a nice cold one and some BBQ-Chocobo wings or maybe you prefer a Chocobo sandwich. Either way, we will be sharing with you various ways to consume your Chocobo.

He's so adorable, we could gobble him up... oh wait.

Today we will be showing you how to prepare a “Sticky Chocobo” a personal favorite of Cloud’s.

  • 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1/2 cup low sodium soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup hero drink
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup Star Dust
  • 3 Tbsp. honey
  • 3 Porov Nuts
  • 2 Tbsp. grated fresh Curiel greens
  • 1/8 tsp. pepper
  • 2-3 lbs. boneless, skinless Chocobo
Now once you have gathered all the necessary ingredients, and hopefully set up your tent in case any monsters attack during the preparation.
Combine all ingredients except the chocobo in a shallow baking dish and stir until star dust dissolves. Add the chicken and turn to coat well. Cover the dish and chill in refrigerator for 24 hours.
We recommend keeping a ready supply of this on hand, who knows when you will want to have a Sticky Chocobo for dinner or maybe an afternoon snack for the kids.
We also recommend using Dream Powder to make sure it is kept fresh! (This is however if you can handle the taste of Dream Powder, some find it too strong a taste to swallow)

When ready to eat, transfer the chocobo and marinade to a large heavy nonstick skillet.

Now the next few steps assumes you are cooking this at home, but for the ore adventurous of us, you are most likely on a quest to save the world before it is plunged into an eternal darkness or before some long, forgotten evil is awaken so time may be of the essence, we recommend just cooking to flavor. I mean is food poisoning really your biggest concern at this point?

Bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat to low, cover the skillet and simmer for 10-15 minutes, stirring each piece occasionally.

Increase heat to medium and cook the marinade remaining in skillet until syrupy, stirring occasionally at first, then stirring constantly as the mixture starts to thicken, about 6-8 minutes total. Return chocobo to the skillet, coat it with the sauce.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, your first mouth-watering sampling of Chocobos. Trust me, the recipes only get better. Yum Yum.

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Earl Rufus

The owner of this little chunk of the internet. Enjoys having a good time and being rather snarky!

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1 Response

  1. Canyarion says:

    Where’s the vegetarian option? Very unprofessional!

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