Welcome dear adventurer. Off to reign in the sadistic Santa Claws for the one day of the year he forgoes eating credulous children who perch their posterior on his loathsome lap and instead circumnavigates...
Welcome dear wizard in training. I couldn’t help but notice you mulling over the polyjuice potion in your spell book as you brood over your brew. And what is this anyway? Butterbeer? What are...
Oh uh. Welcome dear adventurer. I guess. *sigh* What? Oh, it’s just– I’ve been sending young adventurers like yourself on quests for years now and– well, none of them remembered that today’s my birthday. ...
Welcome dear sorcerer. Down on your luck? In need of some gold? Whoa there. Put your robe back on! I was offering a more permanent solution. And by solution I mean potion and by...
Welcome dear adventur– Holy frog-licking mountain pigeons! What’s that there growing out of your shoulder nubbules?! Ohhh, it’s just your feeble little arms. You can’t except to fight any monsters with those flaccid spaghetti...
Welcome dear adventurer. Off to fight the deadly hippopotamoose of Lubrication Hill are ye? The hell you aren’t with that flimsy splinter of metal you call a sword. Old Pottamoose would use it as...
Welcome dear adventurer, you’re looking worse for wear. All those random battles got you down? Only a couple hearts left? (Yah freak of nature.) Can’t be expected to defeat the next boss in that...
