We watched a movie. We drank to said movie. The drinking wasn’t the part that hurts us until this day. This is…. The Happening!
I have always believe that M. Night Shamlamadyong has had really cool ideas (EG Devil) but poor execution. This movie could have been good, and by this I mean less awful if they decided to make it a subtle comedy. They could have gotten the actors to….ACT and the hilarious scenes would have been intentional. If this had been done as a comedy I honestly believe it would have been enjoyed by many more folks, but as it stands it is a terrible….thriller…maybe horror? Honestly, thinking about it, I don’t know how I would classify this movie.
For what the movie tries to be, it is an awful (Insert genre here) film. The acting is almost as bland as the Star Wars prequels. The way the plot works itself out is ridiculous. The worst thing in my opinion would have to be the camera angles honestly, random close ups of Marky Mark or just terribly awkward shots. Painfully awkward.
I always try to find something redeeming about a film, its a terrible habit I picked up from my college roommate, but there’s really nothing worth watching in this movie. The acting is so bland and uneventful, you swear the people just filmed rehearsals and called it a day. The plot, which is never clearly explained, is laughable. Trees are pissed at people so it decided to force them to kill themselves. But not just killing themselves.. that would be too easy, the trees get them to commit some of the funniest sequence of suicide that I’ve ever seen. Yes, I was laughing at suicides.. does that make me an awful human being? Perhaps, but the movie only plays it up for laughs in my opinion. If they wanted it to be taken seriously, they did a terrible job.
Did I mention the acting was horrible? Oh the acting was horrible! Special note has to be given to Mark Wahlberg, who might as well have been anybody else because he wasn’t using his acting chops here. Throughout the whole thing, I felt like he never really expressed any emotion other than casually cool.
As a whole I was only going to give this movie a 2 in the drinking field, that is until Penguin reminded me that it only had 3 rules and we still ended up drinking more than most of the Air Bud films. For only 3 rules we drank a fair amount, though one of our rules was somewhat subjective. When I say subjective, I don’t mean whether or not you think it happened, I mean if you want to drink to it. The rule I speak of would be wind blowing through plants, which tends to happen constantly. You could reset rules to just this one and get shittered. The other rules worked rather well but nowhere near the level at which wind blowing plants worked. My suggestion is that somebody should try plants blowing in wind on another film.
For a movie with only 3 rules, it ended up working out fairly well. I had never seen the movie so was a bit surprised when the ominous tree rule really intersected with the wind blowing rule in almost EVERY scene which meant doubling down on drinks. The explanation rule also came in handy. I’m fairly certain if the characters weren’t running for their lives, we were awarded with some random updates or theories as to what’s going on. Sometimes, would even get competing theories in the same scene.
If you really want to up the ante though, I recommend taking a shot whenever Marky Mark performs the Wahlberg Stare!
That was The Happening. It was a pretty bad movie with some enjoyable drinking rules. I will say this, I don’t know if it was the booze or just the movie, but it does give you some genuine laughs even though not their intention.