151 Proof Movies: BloodRayne

Sometimes, I wonder why I do the things I do. I mean to the best of my knowledge I have never had any severea trauma to the head nor do I necessarily enjoy pain, but here we are again for the second week in a row watching an Uwe Boll movie. As far as I know, there is no such thing as a good or even decent Uwe Boll so why would I putmyself through watching two of them? Your guess is as good as mine at this point.

Maybe part of the appeal is the curiosity factor, can this movie really be as bad as people say it is. Surely, it must have some good qualities to it. Perhaps, another part is the idea of a bad movie based off of a video game. I love video games (as you can tell by the movies we’ve watched), maybe one will finally do respect to the source material?

Whatever it is, here we are again as we watched Bloodrayne this past week, and once again I was left with that numb feeling that comes from watching a truly horrible movie, either that or all the alcohol we consume while watching it. One or the other, they all blur together after a while.

Bloodrayne at its core.. is a movie. I won’t lie to you, writing this maybe 4 days after seeing the movie, and I don’t remember the plot or the motivation of the characters. I know the main character is named Rayne, half-human half-vampire, which apparently makes her very special (also she drinks blood hence Bloodrayne!). Her father is the king or whatever you want to say of the vampires, who killed her mother when she was just a child. And that’s the extent of it. I know it had a solid cast, at least on paper with Michelle Rodriquez. Michael Madsen and Ben Kingsley (Who played the king vamp) And that’s really it. I couldn’t tell you any more.

As for the drinking aspect of this all, well we created the rules at the start of the movie since neither of us had ever seen it before. And probably wasn’t our wisest decision in hindsight. For some reason, it never crossed my mind that having a rule for on-screen kills and for people drinking blood in a vampire movie could cross-over as much as it does in Bloodrayne, but there will be scenes where you literally just keep the drink to your mouth the entire time. And unlike most movies, this wasn’t just like a one off scene, I can remember 2-3 major scenes that racks up the body count in significant ways. So yeah, there’s a lot of drinking involved.

Oh that reminds me of something else from the movie, the most awkward and forced romantic sub-plot I could ever remember from a film. Essentially, Rayne and her guy friend bond over the fact that both of their parents were killed (her mother and both of his), next thing you know she wants to have sex with him against prison bars. There’s nothing else in between those two scenes so your guess is as good as mine.

And the reason I bring it up is because like most films we “reviewed” in October there was a nudity/cleavage rule for this film as well. It was kind of a toss-up because honestly Rayne’s costume can count as cleavage in almost every scene she is in since it doesn’t leave much up to the imagination. So I recommend the cleavage rule, but maybe you should weigh including Rayne or not on your own.

I’m sure there were more rules and drinking involved, but really the movie was just forgettable, which at the end of the day may be worst than just being a terrible movie. I would recommend skipping it unless you really want to get trashed some random night!

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